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as Self
as Sarge (voice)
as Ronnie
as The Foreman (voice)
as Father Whiteleather
as Sherm
as Hot Dog Vendor
as Mr. Spritzer
as Mayor Don Vaughn
as Warden
as Chief Nyback
as Hank the Janitor/Mall Santa
as Walter Carpenter
as The Judge
as Father Norton
as Bud Chapman
as Leo Amerson
as UFO Abductee
as Ed Dutton
as Emmett Davis
as Jerry Briggs
as Tupperware Salesman
as Big Chuck
as Sid Wiggins
as Paul Dooley
as Owen Cheese
as —
as Stark
as Gil Hutchinson
as Randall Schwab
as George Noozel
as Roy Crane
as Claude Elsinore
as Kendall
as Dr. Gil Gainey
as Wimpy
as Snooks Brenner
as Hyannisport Announcer