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as Tony Scotti
as Alice Cooper
as Robbie
as Security Guard
as Pablo Escobar
as Kidnapper
as Andy Warhol
as 'Weird Al' Yankovic
as Teenage Al
as John Deacon
as Bartender
as Tiny Tim
as Grizzled Narrator (voice)
as Mama Bear
as Salvador Dali
as Captain Buffoon (voice)
as Madonna
as Wolfman Jack
as Jim
as Hulk Hogan
as Jeremy Barf
as Floor Manager
as Johnny Barf
as Jonah Barf
as Pee-Wee Herman
as Waiter
as Mary Yankovic
as Connie Chung
as Kip
as Doctor
as Sleazy MC
as Divine
as Hipster Teen
as Heckler
as Gallagher
as Oprah Winfrey
as Dr. Demento
as Young Al
as Terrorist Diner Patron
as Police Officer
as Radio DJ (voice)
as Steve
as Salesman
as Nick Yankovic
as Bermuda
as Diana Ross
as Ben Scotti
as Sicario